Deep sadness

My emotions descend to a depth, i’ve never witnessed. They cast within, as poison within a pit of my stomach from my mind, causing me to vomit, the toxicity in the mind multiplies and causes me to lose my current perspective, I begin trying to take grasp of reality, it fluctuates – deep hatred-heavens; destroying my once healthy body.  They stick, my mind can’t go upwards – at some level i feel i deserve pain, which keeps me low. I hyperventilate, but can’t catch up to my normal rhythm. Everything i’ve grown to love, about myself, feels shattered. The mirrors within my thought chain, bounce my thoughts from within, and create a phantom-curtain, that picks up the previous identity, throwing it. My confidence dances away with strength and musical, beauty, playing to an old skipping record – as my thoughts try to find hope, negativity skips with positivitey, briefly – of a destructive classical masterpiece.

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Love

She goes around warming peoples hearts, each heart, she sets afire a blaze that will last…. She creates examples of what it is to be human – to love, and be caring – they pass on her teaching’s.  
She’s the type that will sacrifice an hour of work for a 2 min reaction of happiness- she knows what its like to have nothing, yet have everything. So selfless, it shakes the greed out of the chilliest of men.

Chasing a Love

My feeling’s created a vortex – They shall bring her towards; Her’s deflect my circular storm.  The wind shoots towards immensely.

Knocking me down – She comes forward wearing an (unknown) mask, wielding a freshly sharpened knife – The days have passed, the blade remained, the mask knew many roles, the knife has taken many foes – The darkness is overpowering

The weaponry, becomes dull as she progresses her stabs locating my heart – the vortex lessens in size.

She smiles, the beauty of her smile, catches me off guard – my feeling’s ‘sharpen’ – They take ahold – strengthen…. ascend – The vortex grow’s dangerously large;

The powerful air becomes unstable, It fluctuates – tilts rapidly, back-and-forth – bringing forth the other, consuming her; the blade – bounced off my heavily guarded heart, the blade bent…. I wake up, and realize i’ve been walking once more in my sleep – Feeling’s still needing release, to pick her up, and wrap my arms around.

BEER & LOVE

Drowning in a pool of yellow liquid, the sides are rising – Creating a barrier. The bubbles come from the mouth, puking out additional substance, furthering the im-prisonment. The barriers become aggressive, the hand takes me and locks me down- the key stolen, by the one that’s suppose to be there for me….

The waves are creating a superior time, riding these beautiful inconsistencies; As my emotions plummet, forever searching for “additional”. All-the-while, i think of the queen, the one that roams the nest with carefreeness, strength, beauty – Feeling as-if, a tiny bee. needing her, I drink another beer. The moments go-by, quicker, my heart releases a noise – She doesn’t appreciate. I climbed massive barriers, yet she does not care, it doesn’t occur to her that i’m trying the best i can – A tiny bee in pursuit of love.

I love her.

I hurt her, the words vicious, the mind infuriated… her love pure, effortless, strong. She held my hand, she helped me up, gave me all-of-her love… I took her love and abused her mind… She’s wiser, i played a game, within her’s – a test. as the time goes by, i try to make it up to her, to give her my hand, but she’s neglecting me, as the moments pass, i feel overwhelmed with feelings… She looks to me, cracks apart every insecurity, vulnerability with efficiency…. i up-lift her being too… I can’t comprehend, everything she’s done is for me, and how it’s what i’ve needed, and previously couldn’t understand how pleasurable true love could be. too her i’m an excellent man, a kind and gentle individual… to me she’s an angel – sandy glistening spirit, the tide sweeps the beaches and her soul captures the dirty tide of my mind within her golden sandy palms. And onto the beeches is rapid rain drops of my tears needing her back.

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The True Ruler.

there were sheep, wolves, pigs, and velvet ropes. The instructor, was often smiling with a large and antagonizing smile. He reeked of gin and an odour, that triggered the nostrils to cease to breath, he smelt of success, and achievement. His ego was large. His muscles tiny. he began to stumble – over the time of the games… He teased each category. made them maneuver to a beat of his own violin, his red and well strung piece of musical sadness. His tone was aggressive and be-lilting, his hands were tightening as the animals were slow at progressing through the maze. He began to get angry… annoyed at humanity.… He wanted more, he wanted better… he wanted perfection… As the days progressed the being’s would lose their individuality, their dignity, their balls. And each day, this pig, this ruler, would strengthen his games, intensify their work… All while he sat above and grinned with pleasure, his alcoholic lips, lick his lips

he believes in conformity, and relentlessly begins to achieve it – Throughout our society… this man is strong, and ever-so powerful, and he won’t stop… he cannot stop… this world is his for the taking. And each category of animal is for his eating, he chows souls for breakfast, hearts for lunch, and tears for dinner. He sings an awfully dark tune in the morning, that frightens each animal, he sings it without heart and only knows the horrid words, he only understands ruthlessness and betrayal… He pawns each animal, he maneuvers them to stay dedicated, and keep up the rhythm. he yells loudly when they step out-of-line… and he strengthens their mind with his destructive words. And these words grip the soul and bring it down to his level, he dines with the devil, he goes to the games with hitlers, and sparks up a cigarette with Stollen. Drinks his liquid with the Masons.

A Quest that Built our Hope Stronger! During the Exit the Light Shines, Very Bright #bepatient

Walking towards the summit, on the path we experienced great heartbreaks, great depression… but in the end it made us stronger, we we started to see everything as one to be played with, another person to score the game winning shot… so we exhaled and continued upwards. we saw the snowiest and iciest of paths, yet we remained at ease, previously we would turn hostile and it would cut us deep. however the large quest  almost inspired us to continue, and to keep up our excellent work, our amazing conquest, seemed rather trivial seventy-five percent upwards. We started to run, and we gained speed and as our legs would run more quickly, so would are minds, the path decreased and eventually, we’ll be at the summit, but we’re starting to see the growth we made up this mountain, and everything seems like it will be alright, to see the sun shine before us, will be our end. And we’ll forever flourish, we just need to maintain hope, and our strength, but it’s in our pockets now… the clockworks turning ever so quickly, society is beginning to feel more calculated, but i grow stronger. I imagine the peak is everything i’ve been told to believe, everything i’ve ever wanted but 1/4th up this path and i’m already starting to envision that we’ll be singing with the angels.

The Log that the Soil Combined With the Flower – Relationship, lost

A hallow log that has been forgotten, the grass grows around and it slowly disappears beneath, It slowly forgets what it’s like to held, admired for it’s internal beauty of rings, it’s age is meaningless, because it’s rottening away becoming a memory in ones mind, the picture within slowly crumpling, getting filthy and it’ll become a historic piece that was never remembered – because i feel meaningless. Around the log, grows flowers… alike the flower, the woman i once knew, grew as one, strong and vibrant, magical. Living like a dream within ones mind, her picture stays strong, and well thought about…  the soil combined their relationship, but it was not enough, and one day the flower detached from it’s circular platform, and took flight in the wind.

Woman, with a Chilly Heart

My sadness descends – dangerously low… i feel like I’m headed towards a rocky death… She wants too much of me, she’ll take everything i possess and give me a cold shoulder, an angry face… she forgets the times that i’ve given much…. i’ve supported her, helped build her being… but all this is forgotten in the heat of the moment. her eyes penetrate me, i sink into depression….. I feel lifeless once the eyes hit me. I feel unsupported and betrayed. I thought she was excellent… i’m finding that she’s like the rest… an illusive conquest. Her imagery is fake, it’s see thru, like the ghosts she once fancied. she wanted little today, yet held it like it was her one dream through-out her life… her last cigarette. I fear i’ll fall, and she won’t be there to catch me, because even though her shoulders cold… it’s friendly to me. it cared when nobody else did, so i walk towards the devilish bone. But i fear there will be more sacrifices and feelings going upwards… that i’ll have to face, that’ll later haunt me, alike her presence…

Shadowy Gripped

I take a sip of beer, realizing that my demise is soon. the shadowness of alcoholism, is creeping up, and gravitating with his fingery hold… finger by finger, attaching itself to my being… it’s grip is cold and scaly… it’s shadowy feeling… is creating an uneasy feeling, a cold and unforgiving one…. slowly by slowly my liver is giving out, it’s hurting more and more, as the days progress i feel the evil man tightening his grip. His hold is strong, and his nails are sharp… He’s beginning to hurt my arm, i tell him no! but he has an evil smile on his face, on that screams, victim… as i sip my beverage i sink into a horrid depression, and i look on the calendar… but i don’t see much days, let alone weeks… i scream out to God, but we’ve grown distant…