Ego soar’s incredibly, happiness circles the body, and i feel the warmth exiting… The shell becomes punctured to the other side… My old self dies off – my soul releases – i’m reborn – a cloudy-spirit ascends, i begin gravitating, over my body. I look in every direction, notice every detail. I look upon my old self – my body appears projecting a painting of everything i went through And the end is freedom, from the past destructiveness. It feels surreal, overwhelming my spirt, I begin to “hover” away from the scene of the crime….
Coasting the clear sea, I take-out my binoculars. as i’m looking thru – there’s a lovely song playing, with a guitar – Within the scope i notice a lovely woman playing this, the clock turns and eventually i get to the island, tie my boat, there’s a rope that’s been lit with a light – i think to myself strange, as i continue along the island, the music gets more aggressive; and lovely – The sky turns a dark colour, as begin to walk the island the music influences my body. I begin gravitating to the music, it’s vibrations so meaningful, pleasant, unique. My body shifts left-to-right, i begin to feel euphoric, the music is alike a drug. It separates my soul from my body – her character. My body peels from my bright soul – The music takes ahold more, i can feel the vibrations so deep within, my spirit quickly shoots towards the instrument, i feel the control take affect, my spirit shakes, I can feel my body die… I can feel the scratching of the strings on the piece. I begin seeing 360 degrees, just then my soul gets captured within the red guitar…
My feeling’s created a vortex – They shall bring her towards; Her’s deflect my circular storm. The wind shoots towards immensely.
Knocking me down – She comes forward wearing an (unknown) mask, wielding a freshly sharpened knife – The days have passed, the blade remained, the mask knew many roles, the knife has taken many foes – The darkness is overpowering
The weaponry, becomes dull as she progresses her stabs locating my heart – the vortex lessens in size.
She smiles, the beauty of her smile, catches me off guard – my feeling’s ‘sharpen’ – They take ahold – strengthen…. ascend – The vortex grow’s dangerously large;
The powerful air becomes unstable, It fluctuates – tilts rapidly, back-and-forth – bringing forth the other, consuming her; the blade – bounced off my heavily guarded heart, the blade bent…. I wake up, and realize i’ve been walking once more in my sleep – Feeling’s still needing release, to pick her up, and wrap my arms around.
Walking towards the summit, on the path we experienced great heartbreaks, great depression… but in the end it made us stronger, we we started to see everything as one to be played with, another person to score the game winning shot… so we exhaled and continued upwards. we saw the snowiest and iciest of paths, yet we remained at ease, previously we would turn hostile and it would cut us deep. however the large quest almost inspired us to continue, and to keep up our excellent work, our amazing conquest, seemed rather trivial seventy-five percent upwards. We started to run, and we gained speed and as our legs would run more quickly, so would are minds, the path decreased and eventually, we’ll be at the summit, but we’re starting to see the growth we made up this mountain, and everything seems like it will be alright, to see the sun shine before us, will be our end. And we’ll forever flourish, we just need to maintain hope, and our strength, but it’s in our pockets now… the clockworks turning ever so quickly, society is beginning to feel more calculated, but i grow stronger. I imagine the peak is everything i’ve been told to believe, everything i’ve ever wanted but 1/4th up this path and i’m already starting to envision that we’ll be singing with the angels.
Euphoric mind, pondering what had happened today… all the good, the little bad… I’m hopeful and content with the world… as i sip my beers my happiness increases to a great level.. the world feels perfect.. feels as if everything’s going to be great, or at the least alright.. feels as if my worries are over… my past is the past… and i’m headed for the heavens, hanging out with God, pouring excellent liquor and snorting some premium drugs… our bodies lifting the clouds… lifting the clouds to to near space… we see a saucer going by, waving at the aliens… hello…
in the cellar, are plenty of wine bottles, the flavours are plentiful. As i pick my flavour, i see a rat come out of the door, he shifts and quickly runs, as a bottle hits the floor, i wonder if the clock is moving at a pace i’m unsure of… i go back to selecting my drink for the night… i pick a lighter bottle…. I walk up the stairs… i close the door behind me it creeks – i conclude i should put WD-40 onto the hinges… i keep my pace up the stairs however. As i’m walking upwards i realize that it’s a more spiral set of stairs, i keep ascending the rocky stair case. And i finally come into the light of the hallway… and notice it’s a pigeon engraved bottle… I go towards my living room, thru the hallway… I sit upon the table so i can see out thru the window… I begin to drink my bottle of alcoholic enjoyment. I ponder what happened during the cellar trip. However i conclude that it’s best if i keep a hopeful and happy mindset as i drink my beverage.. i take a few sips… I start to sink into depression, the madness of the night shoots thru my mind awfully and plentiful… i feel my liver stunned in pain and unable to process the beverage once more… as i’m thinking of death – i see crow outside the window…. I start coughing blood at a quick rate.. I fall off the hard table, i begin screaming – however i’m the only one home and the only one around… i begin to shift towards my landline, but i don’t have the strength, and i keenly remember i didn’t pay my phone bill, due to the fact that i needed to add my wine to my cellar… My body begins to shake, my skin feels dead….
Two days later the paramedics: find my body, my liver stopped functioning normally and died
riding a wild wave, of beauty…. the emotions within myself run rampant, in all-directions… Happiness, sadness, neutralism. They spontaneously choose which direction to mold theirselves in…. to become… running through my mind with ease and growth, ever multipling… They’ll go near suicidal to complete bliss… fluctuating like waves within the sea… the fisherman around, see the great levels my emotions rise, and are completely content, knowing these emotions surround my mind, with ultimate freedom, and stealth…. They’re apart of the fisherman day, their months and years… because to them, these emotions are at one with what they know, the sea.
Fireworks are exiting my brain, they’re bright and combust lately with ease. They’re effortless and enjoyable… Beautiful thoughts are within my head powering these powdery fires – The music flows within the room, The fireworks grow in strength, exiting quicker; I hope they continue, they progress, I look around and things feel excellent. I feel content and the fireworky ego is alike meth, happy pulses cruise within my head, across… sometimes the ego going upwards is one of the best feelings in the world.
The days are passing quickly, the trees are leafing well… Where there was snow and chilling, there’s now, flowers, the ice has turned to a river, the sun begins to show earlier… my emotions seem constant and better than before… I look in the mirror and my reflection begins to feel like my own… my actions feel myself, I look to God, but never thank him, because to me, it feels like he’s given the worse, and he’s tested me… so i blame myself, because at the end of the day we have free-will, we have choices and our actions are often our own… when i had nobody to look to, to turn to, i saw God hovering above me and making my days worse, he often felt devilish… to give him what i earned, isn’t me. I gave him enough praise… As i walk my path i see all those who used and abused me, they’re grinning when they should be sympathetic, but that’s not them. they’re heavenly teachers. The devils minions… They’re hardened and soulless, because to them i’m a piece to be moved, a body they want to cut-off. To them i’m nothing, but to myself I’m my greatest teacher, my only God. And that’s the way it should feel and be, because when we start giving our accomplishments over to anyone, then we’re supporting something we can’t see, and subjecting ourself to insecure patterns, words, character.
alcoholism is at the door, it starts pounding fiercely, and quickly… i won’t let it in, i won’t, be apart of it’s wickedness, the devil is apart, it’s becoming, intertwined, loving, caring. it supports and is proud of me, i reply… go away, you’re not welcome here anymore… it progresses… fights intensely with the bell and the door… it’s knocking more fiercely more, quickly… i go out the back, and come back with an axe, it knocks me out, breaks through my door… it tells me i’m captured, i’m one… i’m on the floor trying to get up, it kicks it’s boot within my face… i feel at ease, submitted, in it’s hands…. yet i fight, and it quickly counter attacks… it’s too powerful, i do what it says.